Module 16 · Family

For parents: talking with your kids

How to talk with your kids about bodies, relationships and pressure. 8 min · 4 lessons

A father and son walking hand in hand on a forest trail

Lesson 1

You matter more than you think

Teens report that their parents have the greatest influence over their decisions about sex, more than friends, siblings or the media, according to the CDC. And teens who talk with their parents about sex are more likely to delay having sex.

Knowing where your teen is and who they’re with matters too. Teens whose parents keep track are less likely to have sex at an early age, smoke, drink, be physically aggressive or skip school. In a national CDC survey, teens who reported that kind of parental involvement were about half as likely to have ever had sex.

Lesson 2

Many small talks, not one big one

Start early and keep talking. A series of short conversations works better than one big talk.
Stay calm. If you overreact, they may stop bringing things to you.
Share your values and expectations, and why you hold them, including waiting for the right person.
Talk about healthy relationships and consent, not just the risks.
Listen more than you talk. It’s OK to say, “I don’t know. Let’s find out together.”
Give them time alone with their doctor at checkups.

Lesson 3

Know their world

Know their friends and their friends’ parents.
Set clear expectations about where they go, who they’re with and when they’ll be home.
Agree on device rules, like phones out of bedrooms at night.
Learn the signs of online exploitation, and tell your teen they can come to you without getting in trouble. See Peer pressure & online safety.

Lesson 4

Hard conversations

If your teen comes to you with something hard, like questions about their identity, pornography, drinking, or someone hurting them, thank them for telling you, listen first, and keep the door open. You don’t need every answer today.

Teens in Washington can get some kinds of care on their own, and their records are protected. See Your rights & privacy.

Check yourself

Myth or fact?

Teens say friends influence their decisions about sex more than parents do.

Myth. Teens report that parents have the greatest influence, more than friends, siblings or the media.

One big talk is enough.

Myth. A series of conversations works better, and it keeps the door open.

Teens who talk with their parents about sex are more likely to delay having sex.

Fact. That’s what the CDC reports from studies of teens and parents.

Questions people ask

Asked and answered.

What if I don’t know the answer?

Say so, and look it up together. These modules are a good place to start, and you can always ask us privately.

My teen won’t talk to me.

Keep trying in low-pressure moments, like car rides, walks or meals. Let them know they can come to you without a lecture, and make sure they have another trusted adult too.

What can my teen get without me in Washington?

Some care, including birth control at any age, STI testing from 14 and counseling from 13. See Your rights & privacy.

Still have a question?

Ask privately