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OISHA, Orcas Island Sexual Health Advocates, home

For leaders

Leader’s guide.

Use Learn with a youth group, a class, a parents’ night or your own family. A simple session plan, ground rules, and questions for every module.

How to run a session

Every module on Learn is free to use with a youth group, a class, a parents’ night or your own family. Each one has short lessons, a myth-or-fact quiz and common questions, so a session nearly runs itself. You bring the room, the welcome and the listening.

Here is a plan for about 45 minutes:

  1. 5 minutesWelcome, and the ground rules below.
  2. 10 minutesRead one or two lessons together, out loud or on a screen.
  3. 5 minutesMyth or fact: have everyone vote before you reveal each answer.
  4. 15 minutesTalk it through with the questions for that module.
  5. 5 minutesQuestion box: everyone writes a question, or “no question,” on a card, so no one is singled out.
  6. 5 minutesClose with one takeaway each, and where to get help.
  • Read the module yourself first, and decide which lessons fit your group.
  • Tell parents ahead of time what you plan to cover with anyone under 18, and invite them to read along.
  • You don’t need to know everything. “Good question, let’s find out” is a fine answer. Send us the ones you can’t answer.
  • Printing: this page, and every module, prints cleanly from your browser.

Ground rules that keep people safe

People learn when they feel safe. Say these out loud at the start of every session:

  • What’s said here stays here, unless someone is in danger.
  • No one has to share. “Pass” is always a full answer.
  • No stories about other people, by name or by hint.
  • No question is silly, and no one gets laughed at.
  • We speak with respect, about ourselves and about people who aren’t in the room.

Never promise to keep a secret about harm. If a young person tells you someone is hurting them, stay calm, believe them, and thank them for telling you. Then follow your organization’s child-safety policy. To report suspected abuse or neglect in Washington, call the Department of Children, Youth, and Families: 866-363-4276 answers evenings, weekends and holidays, and its website lists the daytime number for your area. If a child is in danger now, call 911.

You’re a guide, not a counselor. When a question is bigger than the session, point to local resources, or ask us to help you find the right person.

Which lessons for which group

You know your group best. These are starting points, not rules.

Middle schoolAges 11 to 13

Puberty & how bodies work, Your body is yours for life, Peer pressure & online safety

High schoolAges 14 to 17

Waiting & the right person, Healthy relationships & consent, Peer pressure & online safety, Pornography’s effects, Alcohol, drugs & decisions, STIs & testing, Sexual assault & getting help, Your rights & privacy, Faith, identity & loving yourself

Young adultsAges 18 to 25

Preparing for marriage, Healthy relationships & consent, Birth control, Pregnancy & adoption, Body modifications & mental health

Parents and caregiversParent nights

For parents: talking with your kids, Peer pressure & online safety, Pornography’s effects, Alcohol, drugs & decisions

Expecting and new parentsClasses and support groups

Pregnancy & adoption, New baby & parenting, Feeding your baby, Becoming a dad, Miscarriage & loss

Expecting parents will also want Pregnancy week by week and Having a baby on Orcas.

For faith communities: Faith, identity & loving yourself reads Scripture alongside the lesson, and pairs well with Waiting & the right person and Preparing for marriage.

Discussion questions

Three open questions for each module. There are no wrong answers. Give people time to think before anyone speaks.

Growing up

Puberty & how bodies work

  1. What surprised you most about how bodies change, and when?
  2. People start puberty at very different ages. How can friends be kind about that?
  3. Who is one adult you could ask a question about your body?

Your body is yours for life

  1. What does it mean to be the steward of your body?
  2. Which choices can be undone, and which can’t? Why does that matter when you’re deciding?
  3. When you face a big decision, who do you want in your corner, and what would you ask them?

Body modifications & mental health

  1. Where do pictures of a “perfect” body come from? How do they leave people feeling?
  2. How can you tell the difference between wanting a change and needing help with how you feel?
  3. What would you say to a friend who is being rushed toward a decision they can’t undo?

Faith, identity & loving yourself

  1. What does it mean to you that you are loved exactly as you are?
  2. Jesus said to love your neighbor as yourself. What does caring for yourself look like this week?
  3. How can a group like ours make sure no one is mocked or shut out?

Relationships

Waiting & the right person

  1. What does waiting protect: for your body, your heart and your future?
  2. What makes it hard to wait, and what makes it easier?
  3. How would you tell someone you’re dating that you’ve decided to wait?

Healthy relationships & consent

  1. Describe the right partner in five words. Which matters most to you?
  2. What does real consent sound like? What are the signs it isn’t there?
  3. Which warning signs get excused as love? What would you do if you saw them in a friend’s relationship?

Preparing for marriage

  1. Think of a marriage you admire. What do those two people do for each other?
  2. Why does it help to talk about money, children and faith before the wedding, not after?
  3. What is the difference between sliding into a commitment and deciding on it?

Peer pressure & online safety

  1. When have you felt pushed to go along with something? What helped you hold your ground?
  2. How do people who exploit others online win trust? Which sign would be easiest to miss?
  3. If a friend told you someone was threatening to share a photo, what would you do first?

Pornography’s effects

  1. What does pornography leave out about real relationships?
  2. Why might someone feel worse, not better, after watching? What would help instead?
  3. Who could you talk to if you wanted to stop? How could we make that conversation easier?

Alcohol, drugs & decisions

  1. How do alcohol and drugs change the decisions people make about sex?
  2. Why can’t someone who is drunk or high give real consent?
  3. What is your plan for getting home safely, and for helping a friend who has had too much?

Health & safety

STIs & testing

  1. Why do so many infections go unnoticed? What does that mean for getting tested?
  2. What is the only sure way to avoid an STI? What lowers the risk?
  3. What keeps people from getting tested, and how could we make it less scary?

Birth control

  1. Why isn’t birth control a replacement for waiting?
  2. What does “typical use” mean, and why do those numbers matter?
  3. What would you want to know before a decision like this, and who could you ask?

Sexual assault & getting help

  1. Why is it never the victim’s fault? Where do the myths come from?
  2. What would you say first to a friend who told you they were assaulted?
  3. Who are the people and places on Orcas that can help, day or night?

Your rights & privacy

  1. What can a young person get on their own in Washington? Did anything surprise you?
  2. When might a doctor or counselor need to involve someone else?
  3. What does browsing privately protect, and what doesn’t it protect?

Family

Pregnancy & adoption

  1. If a friend told you she might be pregnant, what are the first three things you would help her do?
  2. What kinds of support make the biggest difference for a mother and her baby?
  3. What do people misunderstand about adoption?

Miscarriage & loss

  1. Why is pregnancy loss so hard to talk about?
  2. What helps a grieving friend, and what doesn’t?
  3. How can a family, a church or a community remember a baby who died?

New baby & parenting

  1. What are the rules for safe sleep, and why does each one matter?
  2. Every baby cries, sometimes for hours. What is a safe plan for a parent at the end of their rope?
  3. How can you tell the baby blues from something that needs help? How can family and friends step in?

Feeding your baby

  1. What have you heard about breastfeeding and formula? Which parts are true?
  2. How can a partner, a family and a community make feeding easier for a new mother?
  3. Where would you turn for help in the first week?

Becoming a dad

  1. Think of a good father or father figure. What did he do that you still remember?
  2. What can a dad do in the first weeks that matters most to mom and baby?
  3. Who can a new dad call when he is overwhelmed?

For parents: talking with your kids

  1. What do you wish an adult had told you when you were your child’s age?
  2. Why do many small talks work better than one big one? Where do your best talks happen?
  3. How do you want your child to feel after bringing you something hard?

Using Learn at home

The same lessons work for one parent and one teen. A few things that help:

  • Read it separately, then talk. Send your teen a module, read it yourself, and bring it up in the car or on a walk.
  • Trade answers on the quiz. It is easier to talk about a myth than about yourself.
  • Keep it short. Ten good minutes now is worth more than an hour later.
  • Start with For parents: talking with your kids.

Want us there?

We’re glad to visit a parents’ group, a youth program or a class on Orcas to lead a session or answer questions, and to hear what you would like added to Learn.

Invite us to your group